SG wrote:
>It's so easy for you to say 'give it a rest', isn't it?
>
>Are you for women in the military? Why?
I am anti-military. Because.
And how is that relevant?
> What do you have
>to worry about? One of my personal principles is that Life is too short to
>spend living it in fear.
>
>Then please follow your principles.
I DO follow my principles, that's why they are MY principles. Since you are not some omnipotent deity, you obviously cannot observe me 24 hrs. a day to know this is true. Anyone who even casually knows me in real life, knows this is true. Don't be so quick to judge what you know nothing about.
Why do you live in fear of God?
> I don't always dwell on the negative BUT, the
>fact is, "one out of every six college women will be the victim of a rape
>or attempted rape while an undergraduate", and by the time I graduate (I'm
>nearing my third year), I will probably be raped. At least according to
>chance, and common statistics. Now, I think my danger is significantly
>less because of the way I live my life and my 'training', but in all
>likelihood, I might be one of the many victims I know of. Living with the
>constant threat. How do you think that feels?
>
>My philosophy is that the biggest victim is the perpetrator. You may be
raped, but you don't have to live life knowing that you are a filthy scum
rapist. I feel sorry for people who are willing to stoop that low.
I am speechless. My mouth is literally agape right now. That is the most awful, asinine, and stupid thing I have ever seen in black-and-white. I have no idea how to respond to such ignorance; I am taken aback by it. It disgusts me to my very depths.
Foremost, how can the "victim" be the "perpetrator"? The victim is the person who a crime is perpetrated against, and who suffers. The rapist is the antithesis of a victim in every sense of the word. Rape is the worst crime there is, and it's not just my opinion, it's been said so by the FBI. (Not that I need their validation.) Not only are women the victim of the rapist, but then a victim twice over by this country's warped legal system that blames and ultimately fails her, and then thrice over a victim by apathetic and ignorant people that support rape by ignoring or justifying it. That's society for you.
Your logic and thinking is ass-backwards. If someone murdered your children, your parents, your entire family, and your friends, would you want to let them off scot-free? According to your absurd "philosophy", yes, because they suffer a great deal more than you do. In fact, if they are the greatest victim, perhaps you should be punished for their crime? Why not, that's what they do to rape victims.
People like you, yes, I said 'people like you' are my 'Number One Enemy'. I guess you're the opposition I am facing; I don't see why then, we aren't winning. You feel sorry for them- the rapists?! I feel sorry for your mother.
"Hiding behind guilt, that's my favorite. I love that one. Oh, it's horrible, yes, and I'm so sorry. You have the time to feel guilty. We don't have the time for you to feel guilty. Your guilt is a form of acquiescence in what continues to occur. Your guilt helps keep things the way they are....I know that men suffer. This is a new claim, I think, that in part you are actually suffering because of something that you know happens to someone else. That would indeed be new."
--Andrea Dworkin
Why don't you live your life, knowing that you have been raped and suffering from it every day, and then speak up for the assaulter. Okay? The "filthy scum rapist" doesn't feel remorse. That's why they do it over and over again..and again...and again...
>By the way, I don't want to "battle to beat back sexism", I want to END it
>for good, along with any other form of oppression. I intend to spend my
>entire life trying to do so.
>
>Hatred is the fruit of ignorance. I'm skeptical that we can rid ourselves
of that.
Why adopt a passive, apathetic attitude like that? Do you really think it's wise to say, "Oh well...I'm going to give up fighting against all the bad things in the world, because it seems too hard." There you go, trying to get me to just *accept* my condition, again. That is very flawed thinking. At first you said I should 'fight' and 'battle', yet you also assume my cause is futile.
It's up to you- as a man- to end rape. It's not my gender doing the majority of it. I bet you think the cold, harsh truth makes me sound bad, but there you have it. The only reason why we can't rid ourselves of the problem is that men don't *want* to change, and give up that power. I think you have the potential for a very positive effect, and the ability to influence your peers, but instead you are wimping out because you are skeptical.
>And a question: Why is it that for as long as I can remember, every time I
>get upset about injustice towards women and sexism as a whole (as you know,
>I can get pretty fiery about the issues I care about) I get the equivalent
>of "Settle down, Kristy."? Just curious.
>
>Sporting that kinda 'tude isn't beneficial. It turns people off. If you
want men to side with you, you shouldn't come off as a hormone-crazed
b-i-t-c-h (No, I don't think you are).
Awww.......gee, I'm so sorry if my anger over being severely oppressed and raped really turns you off. Would you like a tissue? That was my whole point! Women who fight sexism/misogyny/etc. should NOT get that same terrible reaction most of the time (as in 'Oh, she's a femi-nazi'), and here you are justifying it. Here's another question- if I follow your advice and dance on my tip-toes trying not to be a bitch, how does one NICELY face a man with the facts of rape? It is a horribly, sickening reality, and this simply cannot be done in a non-confrontational and polite manner.
One major ill of society is that not enough people are angry about the right things, and we have every goddamned reason to be angry, and we *should* be angry, but are not. What's happening here?
And I wasn't even talking about having _any_ kind of 'tude. I was merely speaking up, and nearly every time I do, with or without 'tude intact, I get penalized for being audacious enough to state the truth (as much as people don't like to hear it).
Furthermore, what do hormones have to do with awareness? There you go subscribing to the idea of "womb hysteria". How ridiculous. Examine why you chose the words "hormone-crazed" to describe how any assertive female is viewed.
>And why do I rant so much? Because I want to be heard. Silence is our
>worst enemy.
>
>Ranting is your second worst enemy.
Bullshit. Silence is now my second worse enemy, and it's attitudes like yours that I need to extinguish. If I followed *your* advice on how to deal with all this, I wouldn't be dealing with it at all- just coping. I'd probably be dead already if I listened to you. But you don't need to tell *me* that men want women to be submissive and put up with whatever violent crimes they want to dish out, honey, because I've always known that...
>"Most men of course, do not batter, rape or kill. But this doesn't mean,
>as many seem to think, that they have nothing to do with violence against
>women.
>
>I don't single out any single issue. Ignorance is the root of all hatred.
That is where the battle is won.
Do you even care if it's won? You sound more like an advocate of rape to me. You think a rapist is the real victim of his crime.. therefore the actual victim is to blame, and if the woman is at fault, you must think that women deserve what they get...do you hate women? You keep bringing up the fact that ignorance is the cause of hatred; I wouldn't be surprised.
>Those who understand the connection between sexist attitudes and sexist
>acts, in particular acts of violence against women, have a moral
>obligation, I believe, to help others understand. They must teach their
>peers, teach their children. We cannot be silent, because silence makes it
>possible. So use your voice." [2]
>
>Is this humorous to you?
>
>I'd rather laugh than blow a gasket.
I laugh when there is something to laugh about. I erupt when I have a reason to.
If you or a loved one were brutally raped, would you be chuckling all the while? I'm trying to get you to take a serious issue seriously, but you obviously don't want to think about it. I can understand why. It's very saddening, and if you were to actually consider the reality of the situation and what I have discussed, your little prosaic cloud of bliss and artificial happiness might disperse.
> My understanding is that your response to *my*
>response to misogyny and sexism was something to the effect of, "Don't take
>it so seriously; lighten up." Still think I'm overreacting?
>
>Fighting with a cool head makes for a good warrior. Shoot 'em with a smile
on your face.
I am stunned. You really need to rethink everything you have written to me, because it's flat out wrong. My personal opinion of course, but it stands.
What's better- a firm voice or a cowardly one? I think you know my choice.
'the squeaky wheel gets the oil"
~kjs