Re: virus: FW: True! It was on the Net!

maggs (
Sun, 17 Jan 1999 19:27:55 -0600 (CST)

Lambchop, That Kentucky Fried Rats story is older than all the ages of the members of the congregation added together and is factual according to the most reliable 12th hand gossip that's been circulating since that time.

Seriously, the business made a mistake several years ago, before the inspection laws came into being, and we have to suffer with its memory.

"If someone says"I don't know if there's a hand here" he might be told "Look closer"- This possibility of satisfying oneself is part of the language game. Is one of its essential features."

On Fri, 15 Jan 1999, Gifford, Nathan F wrote:

> > I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from
> > having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. He was
> > also upset because he'd gone to Mexico and found this cute little
> > chihuahua, but his vet told him it was really just a sewer rat. So
> > anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub
> > and it was full of ice and he was sore all over. When he got out of the
> > tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN and he saw a note
> > on his mirror that said "Call 911!" But he was afraid to use his phone
> > because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his
> > computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-mail
> > entitled "Join the Crew!"
> >
> > He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer
> > who was working on software to save us from Armageddon when the year
> > 2000 rolls around. His program will prevent a global disaster in which
> > all the computers get together and distribute the $600 Neiman Marcus
> > cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true; I read it
> > all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also
> > promising me a free Disneyworld vacation and $5,000 if I would forward
> > the e-mail to everyone I know, or if I just sent in an old pair of
> > tennis shoes.)
> >
> > The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his
> > missing kidneys, but reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed
> > with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said,
> > "Welcome to the world of AIDS."
> >
> > Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital-the one, actually,
> > where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish
> > is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American
> > Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he
> > receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and
> > o's in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to twenty
> > people you will have good luck but ten people you will only have ok luck
> > and if you send it to less than ten people you will have BAD LUCK FOR
> >
> > So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on
> > the way he noticed another car driving along without his lights on. To
> > be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part
> > of a gang initiation.
> >
> > And it's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages.