virus: FW: True! It was on the Net!

Gifford, Nathan F (
Fri, 15 Jan 1999 14:33:09 -0500

> I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from
> having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. He was
> also upset because he'd gone to Mexico and found this cute little
> chihuahua, but his vet told him it was really just a sewer rat. So
> anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub
> and it was full of ice and he was sore all over. When he got out of the
> tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN and he saw a note
> on his mirror that said "Call 911!" But he was afraid to use his phone
> because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his
> computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-mail
> entitled "Join the Crew!"
> He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer
> who was working on software to save us from Armageddon when the year
> 2000 rolls around. His program will prevent a global disaster in which
> all the computers get together and distribute the $600 Neiman Marcus
> cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true; I read it
> all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also
> promising me a free Disneyworld vacation and $5,000 if I would forward
> the e-mail to everyone I know, or if I just sent in an old pair of
> tennis shoes.)
> The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his
> missing kidneys, but reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed
> with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said,
> "Welcome to the world of AIDS."
> Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital-the one, actually,
> where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish
> is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American
> Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he
> receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and
> o's in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to twenty
> people you will have good luck but ten people you will only have ok luck
> and if you send it to less than ten people you will have BAD LUCK FOR
> So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on
> the way he noticed another car driving along without his lights on. To
> be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part
> of a gang initiation.
> And it's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages.