virus: fwd: The 800 Club!

C.T. Robinson (crobin@jps.net)
Tue, 31 Dec 1996 11:44:07 -0800

>Return-Path: <subgenius-owner@armchair.mb.ca>
>Date: Tue, 31 Dec 1996 05:55:29 -0800 (PST)
>From: Kelly Lute <ndanger@rahul.net>
>Subject: [SubG] The 800 Club!
>To: subgenius@armchair.mb.ca
>Sender: owner-subgenius@armchair.mb.ca
>Reply-To: subgenius@armchair.mb.ca
>
>
>Everybody,
>
>Please use this to do as much damage as possible. Thank you.
>
>---------------------------
>
>
> JOIN THE 1-800 CLUB AND SAVE THE WORLD.
> I'm sure you've watched the televangelists crash and burn these last few
>months. It's been fun, but wouldn't it be more fun if you could help? Well,
>you can.
> For a couple of years, people all over the country--people just like
>you--
>have cost the Nazis (Falwell types) hundreds of thousands of dollars by
>joining the 1-800 Club.
> The 1-800 Club has no dues, no membership list, and no regular meetings.
>If you have a telephone and five minutes a day, you can be a member. Here's
>how...
> First pick one of the toll free number listed here. Dial and let it ring
>until they answer. Hang up. That call cost them a dollar. That's a dollar
>they would have otherwise spent squelching free speech, persecuting
>liberals,
>free thinkers, Gays, Pagans, and others, lobbying your representative in
>Washington, running for President, destroying indigenous cultures, or other
>Nazztyness.
> Second degree Club members can engage the phone operators in
>conversation
>(every additional minute costs them 46 cents). You can ask them for free
>literature to "help you understand more about their ministry." Give them a
>non-existent address or the address of someone you find distasteful.
> It costs them about $12 a year to keep each address on their mailing
>list,
>with each mailing costing even more.
> Be careful, though. A few will want to convert you right there on the
>phone. Just tell them you'll read their pamphlet and call them back.
>They'll
>send it right off, costing them even more.
> You can also blow horns and whistles or use the pound button (you know,
>the # button on your telephone.)
> If you wish, you can call from public phone booths without depositing
>money to make the call. It's a great way to pass the time waiting for a
>plane, bus or subway train.
> The 1-800 Club really works. A man in Atlanta set his computer to dial
>Falwell every 30 seconds. In nine months, he cost them $250,000. Pat
>Robertson's 700 Club canceled their toll-free number for three months
>because
>of "all those calls from homosexuals and those people into Witchcraft,"
>they
>said.
> Remember, these people are out to get you. They are not nice people
>going
>about their own business. It is their stated purpose to take over the world
>with their own brand of religion, suppressing your life and personal
>spiritu-
>ality as they do so.
> And don't forget, this article is supported by the 1st Amendment. You
>have
>the 1-800 Club's permission to copy it and distribute it to your heart's
>content. The freedom you save could be your own.
>1-800-446-0700 The Seven Hundred Club, or how Pat Robertson ran for
> President.
>1-800-345-8095 The Old Time Gospel Hour. This is Falwell's main number.
>1-800-368-3336 Falwell's Pregnancy Hot Line, now called the Liberty
> Godparent Home. Helps pregnant girls and women. Yew betcha.
>1-800-842-8679 Adopt-a-Teen, a half-way house for troubled and abused
>kids.
> They're required to appear on TV to plead "send this
>ministry
> money or they'll put me out on the street again." They cry
>a
> lot. Despicable.
>1-800-331-3800 Ol' Jumpin' Jimmy Swaggart's Talk Line. What you've heard
> about Jimmy is only the tip of the iceberg. High placed
> sources says he "favors children," but that's just what we
> heard.
>1-800-548-7000 This line raises money to "convert India in ten years."
>They
> go to villages, show "free" movies--the only cost is your
> soul--and make outrageous promises to desperate people.
>1-800-423-4444 Send subscriptions of "Plain Truth" to all your friends, or
> just leave a message on their answering machine.
>1-800-HIS-LOVE Prophecy Countdown--these people are very off the wall and
> outspokenly anti-Pagan and anti-Gay.
>1-800-527-2237 Robison Ministries is concerned about what demons can do.
> Show them what a little concerted effort can do.
>1-800-LIFE-AID Preaching to the destitute.
>1-800-872-6600 Bibles to Russia.
>
> ******************************AREA 51!***********************************
>* Mr. Kelly Lute * Revel in the strangeness of my webpage at *
>* Reverend Doktor Chunk * http://www.rahul.net/ndanger/index.html *
>* ndanger@rahul.net * FEATURING "THE EROS SPACE GALLERY" and more! *
> ******************************AREA 51!***********************************
> X-ray Delta One to Mission Control - Transmission Concluded
>
>