Re: virus: Which is it?

Eva-Lise Carlstrom (
Mon, 8 Mar 1999 16:46:41 -0800 (PST)

On Wed, 3 Mar 1999, Bill Roh wrote:

> >KingsXfan wrote:
> > >"It is better to give than to receive." > > >Maybe this maxim isn't
> true. But if it is, I don't understand logically why it would be. If
> we take it as true by faith, perhaps it would prove itself. But do we
> >necessarily need to take it by faith? > > >Whaddaya think? > > >SG
> Tonight, I made a meal for my wife. Just a sandwich, nothing special.
> I made some little flags with paper and put them on toothpicks so that
> the sandwich would look like it was from some cheezy restaurant. I
> dress up the plate real nice and all. When i gave it to her, she
> smiled, and laughed out loud. Tis truly better to give, for that
> moment I was filled with the thought of her happiness, her pleasure.
> It was good.
> This moment is typical of the moments I hunt for. If your brain is
> wired that way, then the pleasure of giving will always be a lot
> bigger than receiving. It is for me anyway. Now I suppose that it
> could be said that in actuality, I am just looking for ways to get
> brain candy, using "giving" as a coin in the gumball machine of the
> brain.
> Bill Roh

My husband just got me a little red wagon for my birthday. That's pretty neat, since I wanted one. But what made it even neater is that he also got me a lock and a license plate for it, put it together, and put reflective tape on it so no one will run me down at night coming home from the grocery store (which is how I plan to use it in the near future). A little thoughtful picturesqueness combined with silliness goes a long way.

Now, I don't know about the part about giving being actually *better* than receiving. I hope he enjoyed getting it for me. I do know that it gives me lots of warm fuzzies that will contribute heavily to my generosity and thoughtfulness next time I have a good excuse for giving him something (like, it's Tuesday). Also, making me feel good for any reason is good for him, as I'm more fun to be around when I'm happy.

Personally, I find that giving and getting really well-suited presents give me exactly the same pleasure in knowing someone and feeling connected to them. Apparently I'm not alone. There's a passage in the wonderful novel _Little, Big_ in which a woman gets up early to milk the goats even though it's actually her partner's turn; she thinks about doing it, until she feels so overwhelmed by gratitude for her own generosity that she feels inspired to get up and do it.

who believes in casting her bread upon the waters, now that she actually has some.