> Tim Rhodes wrote:
>
> > This is the text of a rant I gave last Saturday as part of "The
> First
> > Annual Surrealist Weenie Roast and Snake Handers Revival" (thanx
> David for
> > the inspiration for the name). I thought some of you might find it
> > interesting. If you need to, substitute <Alien> every time you see
> the
> > word "Alien" and you'll get the gist.
> >
> > --------------------------------
> >
> > Alien Meme Evolution
> > by Capın Piledriver, Ph.D. (a.k.a. Prof. Tim)
> >
> > So what is it the Aliens are trying to tell us? What is their
> > message? And what can we learn about ourselves from the Alien Meme
>
> > and Myth?
> >
> > Letıs start with a little history:
> >
> > The first modern UFO was seen in 1947, fifty years ago, over
> Mount
> > Rainier. Three sickle shaped silver objects caught in the light of
> a
> > setting sun. It was the beginning. But these strange objects were
> > not content to keep to the skies for long. Baffling unwary pilots
> > quickly lost its thrill and soon these unearthly weightless ships
> > were landing in the wheat fields of middle America.
> > Like the first tentative steps of a child, the Aliens would
> venture
> > from their ships for just a moment, or two, to dazzle and dumbfound
> > the amazed hapless farmer in his field. This was our first contact,
>
> > fleeting though it was, with these inhuman creatures. These first
> > steps led, as they always do, to more daring and daring explorations
>
> > on the Aliens part.
> > As the Cold War rumbled into full swing and middle America
> filled its
> > idle time planning fallout shelters, the Aliens added a new element
> to
> > their act. No longer content to simply appear to the odd Farmer
> Joe,
> > giving him an amusing story to tell his fishing buddies, these
> Aliens,
> > for reasons we will understand more fully later, began to
> communicate.
> > At first the messages, often sent telepathically into the minds of
> the
> > startled humans, were simple, reassuring words: ³We come in peace²
> or
> > ³Be yea not afraid.²
> > But by the sixties, as Kennedy and Khrushchev flexed their
> manliness
> > at one another on the world stage, the Aliens tone became a more
> > somber one. We were a young and violent race that must take care
> not
> > to destroy ourselves. We had harnessed the power of the sun, but
> > lacked the maturity and composure to know how to use it wisely. ³We
>
> > would have to learn how to control ourselves,² the Aliens warned,
> ³or
> > they would do it for us!²
> > But by the late sixties and early seventies the Aliens
> warnings had
> > mellowed with the times. To the acid addled flower power generation
>
> > the aliens new messages of peace and love and understanding and
> > connection were of no surprise. Their prophesies that we were all
> one
> > children of a single universe, brothers in space separated only by
> the
> > void between stars, went down easy on the steps of Berkeley and the
> > sidewalks of Haight-Ashbury. It was what we had suspected all
> along,
> > after all, wasnıt it?
> > But these days of peace, love and hippie-shit were soon to
> come a
> > close, and with them the mouths of the Aliens as well it would seem.
>
> > Their tongues falling silent as the seventies came to a end, without
>
> > explanation or reason. Had we done something to offend their
> delicate
> > natures? What had caused these once talkative Aliens to fall into a
>
> > bitter silence once again? What so perturbed the myth to send it on
>
> > this frightening new course?
> > With the coming of the Reagan and Thatcher governments saga
> of the
> > Aliens took on a dark and ominous tone. These unholy years are
> known,
> > among those who study such obscure trivia, as ³the anal probe
> years.²
> > While Ronny lost himself in the presidency and a culture
> turned its
> > idealistic eyes to the harsh realities of cold hard cash, the Aliens
>
> > began their cruel task. Sinister and without warning this new class
>
> > of Aliens found their pleasure in the abduction of unwary victims.
> > Often performing upon them hideous unspeakable experiments. Taken
> > from their quiet homes in the dead of night and strapped down to
> > sterile examination tables inside unfamiliar and unnerving
> > extraterrestrial laboratories, they were poked and prodded in every
> > conceivable manner. (And even in some ways that only a distinctly
> foreign
> > and un-human mind could begin to understand.) Countless thousands
> were
> > so abducted, taken in their sleep, defiled by Alien fingers without
> > cause or explanation, and returned using as yet unheard of
> > technologies, to that very point in time at which they were so
> rudely
> > taken.
> > The end of the eighties saw a new bent to this, now common
> and
> > sadistic, story. The Aliens began to take our women. In their
> secret
> > starbound chambers they would impregnate our sisters and mothers.
> > Bringing them to term and removing the strange mutant half-alien
> > half-human babies before returning them to the earth. Often the
> > Aliens would give the mother a glimpse of the the child before
> setting
> > her back down on earth; they looked quite human in many cases,
> > surprisingly. Some times they would baffle the mother by displaying
>
> > one human and one alien offspring side-by-side in a strangle sort of
>
> > show-and-tell. But what were they trying to tell us?
> > These abductions continued in silence, unabated, until the
> early
> > nineties. Once again, without rhyme or reason the Alien's story
> took
> > another turn and, some five or six years ago, these cosmic travelers
>
> > vail of secrecy was lifted once again. This time the Aliens were
> more
> > tight lipped. But the new message they now told, it seems, would
> > prove to have ramifications beyond the simplest of human
> > understandings. As they spoke the whole history of the Alien myth
> > thus stood quaking, waiting to be rewritten.
> > They were not from the stars at all, these big brained, gray
>
> > skinned, sexless, waif-like creatures now informed us. They were
> not, as
> > we had assumed, far off travelers from another planet. They were
> not, in
> > fact, travelers through space at all. But rather travelers through
> time;
> > travelers from the future. Yes, these Aliens were in fact our
> future
> > selves!
> > Now this should come as no surprise to us, really. How
> could we have
> > been so vain and egotistical to think that an advanced race of
> beings
> > would travel light years across the cosmos just to study us? But if
>
> > they were us... If they were ourselves some thousands of years
> > hence,... Well, thatıs just anthropology, isnıt it?
> > And this crucial turn in the progress of the Alien myth and
> its
> > memes, sheds light on all the previous years as well. Those first
> > tentative steps from their time machines, afraid to venture too far,
>
> > their emphatic warnings not to be foolish and destroy
> > ourselves/themselves, the message that we are all brothers descended
>
> > from the same ancestors. Even the ³anal probe years² make sense
> now,
> > in this new light. Like early archeologists who destroyed whole
> > sights in their hurried quests for the ruins of a lost Troy, these
> > future humans seem not to have lost the talent for leaving ruin and
> > destruction in their wake as well.
> > But what of the abducted mothers and their
> half-human/half-alien
> > mutant children? What can we make of this? What part did they
> breed
> > out of themselves, ourselves, in their quest for technology, that
> they
> > now must return to reclaim those genes from the DNA of their own
> > ancestors? Do they bring back with them this warning: Do not
> become
> > as us! All head and eyes, frail and sexless, coldly performing
> their
> > ³duties² experimenting without mercy despite the terrified screams
> of
> > their primitive and animalistic subjects. What did they lose that
> we
> > still possess? That they now long to regain by what-ever means
> > necessary?
> > But, my children, we no longer need fear these Alien future
> selves.
> > For we are no longer the hapless victims of some advanced race come
> > down from the stars. We are no longer merely bit players in this
> > Alien saga-- for ours is the starring role. It is not just the
> > Aliens story any more. It is our story as well. What they are,
> what
> > they will become descends from us, you see. They are not in
> control
> > of us, rather it is we, who are in control of them! We are in
> control
> > of the Alien myth, for it is our story, ours to tell, ours to
> interpret
> > and, more importantly, ours to create!
> > And so, brothers and sisters, isnıt it about time we started
> to tell
> > it like it is!
> > Power to the People! Long live the Aliens!
> > ...that we all are.
> >
> > -Prof. Tim
> >
> > Direct your comments to:
> > proftim@speakeasy.org
> >
> > peaceout-
> > -Prof. Tim
>
> All this is fine and dandy but just where does ELVIS fit in?
> The Nateman
Elvis? He left us when Jerry died. You see, there is only room for
one great rock star at a time in the PCM (pergatory cyclic mix). Elvis
went on to the Galactic Rock-n-Roll hall of fame, where he is playing
for Billions of Rock-n-Roll fans across the Universe. Jerry Garcia is
now watching over us from RRSCC (Rock-n-Roll Space Control Central).
Sodom
I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT, AND SNUFFED IT OUT