>On Tue, 7 Oct 1997, Brett Lane Robertson wrote:
>> On the other hand, going the extra distance to see that defensiveness is
>> pointed out for what it is--wrong thinking--often leaves those who live
>> by the code of abuse and suffering abuse to see abuse where only good
>> intent exists.
>Let's see if you can live by those words when you are the subject of the
>abuse and become defensive.
>Or is it time to tell me to "f&%k off" too?
>With only the best of intentions-
>-Prof. Tim
List,
One often opens one's self up for abuse by continuing to buy into an abusive
system (job, marriage...). I think the reason people do this is because
they become mystified and entranced (they force themselves to continue
blindly--trance--until having to seek outside comfort--mystification).
Since forcing one's self to exert one's self is "work"--by definition--and
outside comfort is often found in relationships--sex...I blame "abuse" on
the protestant ethic of work and the catholic ethic of sex (be fruitful and
multiply). I also see this pattern of denial--through work--and
satiation--through sex--as an addictive cycle...and am wondering if it is
the serpent and the tree--which is awfully reminiscent of the AMA caduceus
and the Hyppocratic oath (just an aside with biblical references to trees
and serpents to go along with the first biblical allusion)--am wondering if
perhaps our addictions to work and sex are our fall from grace and the cause
of abuse.
I suggest being aware of our own part in abusing and being abused and for us
all to think further about the relationship between our mind and our habits.
But to answer your question: NO, when I am the object of abuse--often some
type of "original sin", I'm afraid, which I do not seem to buy-into nor
sell-out to but which seems to find me anyway--when I'm the object of abuse
I do not find it easy not to react defensively...or even offensively (the
second implies looking for someone in power or for a woman to back me up).
It may be time for you to tell yourself to f*** off and blame it on me (I
would hope not). That would depend on if you were willing to entertain the
idea that you are reacting to an addiction within a state of trance and
mystification or whether all you see here is a challenge to your profession
and your sexuality.
Brett
Returning,
rBERTS%n
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