john's laws of bureaucracy
1. if all the people in an organization can't fit in
a middle class living room or all go to dinner together
without making reservations it's a bureaucracy
2. if you don't know everybody's first name it's a
bureaucracy
3. if you ever choose who to fire and who not to fire
based on liability rather than performance it's a
bureaucracy
4. if the boss sends memo's instead of walking into your
office it's a bureaucracy
5. if employees are judged on reports of performance
more than on actual performance it's a bureaucracy
e.g., in government work nobody cares how many people
you help only so long as your statistics are right
6. performance statistics are poetry e.g., when your
boss has a meeting on how to make up statistics to
report your performance to justify your funding
even though your actual performance is sufficient
but can't be reported in such detail accurately after
all when would you help poor people if all you did
was count how many units of help you were giving
7. never rely on self-evaluation or reporting of
performance if the boss can't tell how your doing
without asking you then it's a bureaucracy
8. if you haven't met everybody's spouse it's a
bureaucracy
9. a month is the smallest unit of time in a bureaucracy
10. in a bureaucracy people who do extra work are
discouraged even by the boss
11. in a bureaucracy nothing that is said and not
written down ever happened e.g., you call an office and
they say x, next week you call back and remind them they
said x, it never happened, but if next week you call
and say I spoke to a certain person on a certain day at
a certain time and they said exactly thus, they won't
even check on you and you may even get to speak to
a higher up anyone who keeps records is a threat to be
dealt with
12. if it's considered a fact of life for the
organization to screw the employee and an act of
unprofessionalism for the employee to complain it's a
bureaucracy e.g., if you say you'll pay in ten days to
two weeks and then when the ind. contractor (read
legally exploited worker) calls and says it's been 60
days and you respond that they have violated all decency
by calling the head guy then you're a bureaucracy.
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