Re: virus: Instruction and Advice For the Young Bride
Sun, 21 Feb 1999 09:38:18 -0500

carlw wrote:
> Instruction and Advice For the Young Bride
> On the Conduct and Procedure of the Intimate and Personal Relationships of
> the Marriage State for the Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this Blessed
> Sacrament and the Glory of God By Ruth Smythers Beloved wife of The Reverend
> L.D. Smythers, Pastor of the Arcadian Methodist Church of the Eastern
> Regional Conference
> Published in the year of our Lord 1894, Spiritual Guidance Press, New York
> City.
> To the sensitive young woman who has had the benefits of proper upbringing,
> the wedding day is, ironically, both the happiest and the most terrifying
> day of her life. On the positive side, there is the wedding itself, in which
> the bride is the central attraction in a beautiful and inspiring ceremony,
> symbolizing her triumph in securing a male to provide for all her needs for
> the rest of her life. On the negative side, there is the wedding night,
> during which the bride must pay the piper, so to speak, by facing for the
> first time the terrible experience of sex.
> At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shocking truth. Some young
> women actually anticipate the wedding night ordeal with curiosity and
> pleasure! Beware such an attitude! A selfish and sensual husband can easily
> take advantage of such a bride.
> One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: GIVE LITTLE, GIVE
> SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE GRUDGINGLY. Otherwise what could have been a
> proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.
> On the other hand, the bride's terror need not be extreme. While sex is at
> best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be endured, and has
> been by women since the beginning of time, and is compensated for by the
> monogamous home and by the children produced through it.
> It is useless, in most cases, for the bride to prevail upon the groom to
> forego the sexual initiation. While the ideal husband would be one who would
> approach his bride only at her request and only for the purpose of begetting
> offspring, such nobility and unselfishness cannot be expected from the
> average man.
> Most men, if not denied, would demand sex almost every day. The wise bride
> will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly during the
> first months of marriage. As time goes by she should make every effort to
> reduce this frequency.
> Feigned illness, sleepiness, and headaches are among the wife's best friends
> in this matter. Arguments, nagging, scolding, and bickering also prove very
> effective, if used in the late evening about an hour before the husband
> would normally commence his seduction.
> Clever wives are ever on the alert for new and better methods of denying and
> discouraging the amorous overtures of the husband. A good wife should expect
> to have reduced sexual contacts to once a week by the end of the first year
> of marriage and to once a month by the end of the fifth year of marriage.
> By their tenth anniversary many wives have managed to complete their child
> bearing and have achieved the ultimate goal ofterminating all sexual
> contacts with the husband. By this time she can depend upon his love for the
> children and social pressures to hold the husband in the home.
> Just as she should be ever alert to keep the quantity of sex as low as
> possible, the wise bride will pay equal attention to limiting the kind and
> degree of sexual contacts. Most men are by nature rather perverted, and if
> given half a chance, would engage in quite a variety of the most revolting
> practices. These practices include among others performing the normal act in
> abnormal positions; mouthing the female body; and offering their own vile
> bodies to be mouthed in turn.
> Nudity, talking about sex, reading stories about sex, viewing photographs
> and drawings depicting or suggesting sex are other obnoxious habits the male
> is likely to acquire if permitted.
> A wise bride will make it her goal never to allow her husband to see her
> unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her.
> Sex, when it cannot be prevented, should be practiced only in total
> darkness. Many women have found it useful to have thick cotton nightgowns
> for themselves and pajamas for their husbands. These should be donned in
> separate rooms. They need not be removed during the sex act. Thus, a minimum
> of flesh is exposed.
> Once the bride has donned her gown and turned off all the lights, she should
> lie quietly upon the bed and await her groom.When he comes groping into the
> room she should make no sound to guide him in her direction, lest he take
> this as a sign of encouragement. She should let him grope in the dark. There
> is always the hope that he will stumble and incur some slight injury which
> she can use as an excuse to deny him sexual access.
> When he finds her, the wife should lie as still as possible. Bodily motion
> on her part could be interpreted as sexual excitement by the optimistic
> husband.
> If he attempts to kiss her on the lips she should turn her headslightly so
> that the kiss falls harmlessly on her cheek instead. If he attempts to kiss
> her hand, she should make a fist. If he lifts her gown and attempts to kiss
> her anyplace else she should quickly pull the gown back in place, spring
> from the bed, and announce that nature calls her to the toilet. This will
> generally dampen his desire to kiss in the forbidden territory.
> If the husband attempts to seduce her with lascivious talk, the wise wife
> will suddenly remember some trivial non-sexual question to ask him. Once he
> answers she should keep the conversation going, no matter how frivolous it
> may seem at the time.
> Eventually, the husband will learn that if he insists on having sexual
> contact, he must get on with it without amorous embellishment. The wise wife
> will allow him to pull the gown up no farther than the waist, and only
> permit him to open the front of his pajamas to thus make connection.
> She will be absolutely silent or babble about her housework while he is
> huffing and puffing away. Above all, she will lie perfectly still and never
> under any circumstances grunt or groan while the act is in progress.
> As soon as the husband has completed the act the wise wife will start
> nagging him about various minor tasks she wishes him to perform on the
> morrow. Many men obtain a major portion of their sexual satisfaction from
> the peaceful exhaustion immediately after the act is over. Thus the wife
> must insure that there is no peace in this period for him to enjoy.
> Otherwise, he might be encouraged to soon try for more.
> One heartening factor for which the wife can be grateful is the fact that
> the husband's home, school, church, and social environment have been working
> together all through his life to instill in him a deep sense of guilt in
> regards to his sexual feelings, so that he comes to the marriage couch
> apologetically and filled with shame, already half cowed and subdued. The
> wise wife seizes upon this advantage and relentlessly pursues her goal first
> to limit, later to annihilate completely her husband's desire forsexual
> expression.


Those who give you a serpent when you ask for a fish, may have nothing
serpents to give. It is then generosity on their part. -Kahlil Gibran 
(1883-1931) [Sand and Foam]